Friday, February 5, 2016

A Mom's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

I went to sleep last night all stretched out in our big comfy bed. Now, besides me, there's a husband and two children also in the bed and another child sleeping on the floor and when I got up to fix myself some coffee, I poured Cheerios and juice for three kids first and when I snuck back to my bed to sip my coffee, I set it on the night stand and hoped no one would come and knock it over but when I grabbed my Bible, I spilled the whole cup on the carpet, a book, and a tapestry that was brought over from Turkey for us and I could tell that it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

When I poured each of my kids their second bowl of cereal, I wanted bacon, eggs, and biscuits for breakfast, but there was no one to make them and then I wanted Peanut Butter Captain Crunch, but we had none because I refuse to buy junk cereal, so I said, "will somebody please fix me some breakfast?" I said I would shrivel up without food. I said I was starving. No one even answered.

I think I'll move to Hawaii.

In the kitchen, when I cleaned up breakfast, I noticed a bad smell and ran the disposal and cleaned everything up and threw the dish towel in the washer and Ezra was crying and while changing his diaper my four year old wanted me to tie her tennis shoes. I told her she should wear the pretty red leather shoes I bought her in Branson that she never wants to wear and she said she likes her tennis shoes, and hoping to manipulate her, I said then maybe we should just throw them out  because she never wants to wear them and then my six year old says we shouldn't throw them away we should give them to somebody so we don't wast them and so then she was happy to give them away, but I said, "no."

Maybe I'll just mail the red shoes to Hawaii.

I went in the kitchen where I noticed the smell was still there and ran the disposal again and took out the trash. On the way to the garage, I stepped in some water someone had spilled and my socks got all wet and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

And that's what it was because when I couldn't figure out how to convince Anna that the number "19" really was nineteen and not ninety, I called off school and took all the kids outside and there's where Micah decided to eat some dirt and the girls tripped over some rocks and scraped their knees. The weather was nice, but not as nice as Hawaii.

And when I put Ezra down for his nap on his belly because he likes it that way, he decides to roll onto his back and then gets upset because he can't sleep on his back and he can't roll back over and he does this repeatedly and I'm fixing soup for lunch and making the kids eat it whether they like it or not and then I don't want to wait for them to eat it because its time for their naps and I put the bowls in the refrigerator for later. And when the kids take naps, instead of cleaning or running on my treadmill, or reading, I sit like a slug on the couch, feeling sorry for myself, so when the kids get up much earlier than planned I'm still tired and grouchy and there's not Dr. Pepper in the refrigerator and I need caffeine and I tell myself I'm having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Later, on my way to Anna's ballet class, I pick up my cell phone to call Tom to tell him about my day, and the battery is all run out and I plug it in to charge and by the time we get there it is charged and I turn it on to call Tom, but it says "no service" because we cancelled out cell phone service last week. One the way home, I can't find a paci and Ezra is crying and there's nothing I can do about it....except tell him about Hawaii.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

And when I got home there was Easy Mac for dinner and I hate Easy Mac. there was something smelling by the sink and I hate smells. And there's wet towels on the floor by my night stand, and I hate wet towels. And there was whining and I hate whining. And there was yelling and I hate yelling. And the kids went to bed and I burned some bacon and forgot to switch the laundry, and found a splinter in my finger.

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Tom says some days are like that. Even in Hawaii.

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